Apathetic

I have had such a rotten attitude today. I hope it’s gone by tomorrow!

I hate it when I get this way. Like a part of me sees how ridiculous it is and yet the other part of me says “fuck it! fuck you! and fuck the world!”

Useless, meaningless, ridiculously pointless. 

And of course I’m lousy to all the people around me. Just wanting the whole world to shut up and leave me alone. 

Where does this come from? I have no idea. Looking in the mirror sometimes, I don’t know who I am or what I want to be. And then I feel like I want to punch the girl inside the reflection because she doesn’t give me what I want…..satisfaction.

Just wanting to let it all go, escape from emotions. Release myself from unrelenting doubt, frustrations, and just sheer unadulterated apathy!

….where does it come from……I don’t know.. I wish I knew… so I could make it stop.